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QDNA® Living
Quantum Living | Decoding And Recoding
The Connection of Disconnection And Loneliness
The Science Of Human Connection And Wellness
In A Digitally Connected World
By Marina Rose, QDNA®
QDNA® Living | Neuroplasticity | Epigenetics | Technology
September 01, 2017
When once asked what surprises him the most, His Holiness, The 14th Dalai Lama offered this quote: “Man sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. Then he is so anxious about the future that he doesn’t enjoy the present: the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”
-- James J. Lachard, British Author
In the fast paced, consumer driven, social media shared world that we live in today, success and happiness are often defined by the status of what we achieve, and the value of the things that we own.
Everywhere we look, we are inundated with the same message: the measure of our self-worth is directly equal to the measure of our material wealth.
Whether it’s the status car, the trendiest clothes, the luxury home or the CEO title that comes with the envied corner office with a view, these and the many other status symbols of wealth and success seem to forever define our value in our culture today, immortalized by the cinematic perfection of super heroes and super stars, and broadcasted through the perfectly curated lives that bombard us daily by “friends” on social media.
Fueled by equal parts aspiration and expectation, in an entirely odd and unusual way, envy has become the 21st Century’s most enduring economic driver, feeding our most persistent social cravings and endless material consumerism.
In our effort to keep up with all that is expected of us—and expected of ourselves— many of us find ourselves in perpetual motion, filling our days with the hyper-active, turbo-charged, “crazy busy” schedules that keep us struggling to find and maintain balance between our work, busy careers, and all that’s happening in our personal lives. And despite our success, when we achieve it, it seems that quality personal time for ourselves and for nurturing our relationships has become increasingly more elusive.
Psychologists see a pattern in this success driven culture of busyness and the associated “connection disconnection” of an increasingly digitally remote world, and it’s triggering what they say is rapidly becoming a dire epidemic of loneliness.
With our daily use of email, texting, smart phones, professional and social media, we live in an age of instant global connectivity. We are more connected to one another today than ever before in human history, yet somehow, we’re actually increasingly feeling more alone.
No longer considered a marginalized issue suffered by only the elderly, outcasts, or those on the social fringe, the current wave of loneliness sweeping the nation is hitting much closer to home than you might think. And as shocking as it may seem, new research shows that loneliness may now be the next biggest public health crises to face Americans since the rise of obesity and substance abuse.
In fact, loneliness and its associated depression has become downright rampant, even amongst some of the most successful, with studies showing that business executives and CEOs may actually suffer at more than double the rate of the general public as a whole, which is already an astonishing twenty percent.
What’s more, this ever-growing loneliness among the hyper-successful is not just a result of the social and professional isolation of living in a more global and digitized world, but rather it’s a “lonely at the top” malaise that’s spreading largely due to the sheer emotional exhaustion of business and workplace burnout.
Recent studies show that compared to twenty years ago, an ever-increasing number of people are feeling tired and lonely at work, with close to fifty percent stating that they are often or always exhausted—up thirty-two percent from just two decades ago. Not surprising, science is now sounding the alarm that there’s a significant correlation between feeling lonely and work exhaustion—and the more exhausted people are, the lonelier they feel. This, of course, is made worse by the ever-growing trend for a large segment of professionals who now work mobile and remotely.
Throughout history, human beings have inherently been social creatures. For millions of years we’ve genetically evolved to survive and thrive through the “togetherness” of social groups and gatherings. Today, modern communication and technology has forever changed the landscape of our human interaction, and as such, we often decline without this type of meaningful personal contact. Today’s highly individualistic, digitally remote, and material driven culture is now challenging all of this, as we turn to science to unlock the mysteries of human connection and wellness in a digitally connected world.
Connection of Disconnection
In a world where some of our most personal moments are “Shared” online with “Friends”, business meetings are replaced with digital “Hangouts”, and the most important breaking news is “Tweeted” online in a mere 140 characters or less, today we often seem much more captivated by flashing notifications on our mobile phones than what we’re actually experiencing outside of our tiny 5.7” screens.
Mobile technologies ushered in by Internet icons like Google, who have literally defined what it means to have ‘the world’s information at your fingertips”, have no doubt brought us one step closer to truly living in a “Global Village”. However, no matter how small the world may seem to be getting, it now also feels like it’s often becoming a much less personable place to live in as well.
Dr. Sherry Turkle, PhD is a Professor of the Social Studies of Science and Technology at MIT, and the founder and current director of the MIT Initiative on Technology and Self. She holds a joint doctorate in Sociology and Personality Psychology from Harvard University, specializing in the "subjective side" of people's relationships with technology, especially computers. She is an expert on culture and therapy, mobile technology, social networking, and sociable robotics. Her newest book is the New York Times bestseller Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age, which investigates how a flight from conversation undermines our relationships, creativity, and productivity. According to Dr. Turkle, our near constant digital interaction has in many cases almost entirely replaced one on one human contact in our daily lives, and is rapidly eroding our ability to live and thrive comfortably when we’re offline. Dr. Turkle says, that on the surface we appear more connected, but we’re actually much more distant from one another in our unplugged lives. This is not only changing the way we interact in our relationships, but it’s also fueling a feeling of isolation that’s leading to the current epidemic of loneliness we see today. And the effects of this epidemic go far beyond just the social and interpersonal isolation, but in fact have real and negative impacts on our physical health as well.
According to a recent study published by Brigham Young University, loneliness is an invisible epidemic that affects nearly 60 million Americans today, and in most instances, meets the overall medical criteria of a being classified as a chronic illness. The research suggests that the health risks associated with loneliness are comparable to other well-known high-risk illnesses, such as obesity, heart disease, smoking and substance abuse, increasing rates of mortality risk by an astonishing twenty-six percent—yet unlike these other high profile illnesses, loneliness is often unrecognized, underdiagnosed, or outright hidden or ignored, due to the negative social stigmas that have long been associated with it.
Research shows that lonely people are more prone to getting depressed and getting ill, and are at increased risk of just about every major chronic illness – heart attacks, neurodegenerative diseases, and even cancer.
"The effect of this is comparable to obesity, something that public health takes very seriously," says Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, PhD, Professor of Psychology at Brigham Young University, and the lead study author. "We need to start taking our social relationships more seriously as well."
This also means understanding just how much the “connection disconnection” of loneliness negatively impacts our health, and to begin attending to signs and symptoms of loneliness with preventative measures, the very same way we would do with diet, exercise, and adequate sleep.
Dr. John Cacioppo, PhD, is a Professor of Neuroscience and director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience at the University of Chicago, and a leading researcher on the effects on loneliness and human health. According to Dr. Cacioppo, the physical effects of loneliness and social isolation are as real as any other physical detriment to the body—such as thirst, hunger, or pain. “For a social species, to be on the edge of the social perimeter is to be in a dangerous position,” says Dr. Cacioppo, who is the co-author of the best-selling book Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, hailed by critics to be one of the most important books about the human condition to appear in a decade.
Loneliness changes our thoughts, which changes the chemistry of our brains, says Dr. Cacioppo. “The brain goes into a self-preservation state that brings with it a lot of unwanted side effects.” This includes increased levels of cortisol, the stress hormone often referred to as “public health enemy number one”, due to its highly negative effects on the body. This increase in cortisol triggers a host of negative physical effects-- including a persistent disruption in our natural patterns of sleep, according to Dr. Cacioppo. “As a result of increased cortisol, sleep is more likely to be interrupted by micro-awakenings,” reducing our ability to get enough quality sleep, that in time begins to erode our overall greater health and well-being.
One of the most important discoveries of Dr. Cacioppo’s research, is the Epigenetic impacts that loneliness has on our genes. In his recent studies, tests reveal how the emotional and physical impacts of loneliness actually trigger cellular changes that alter the gene expression in our bodies, or “what genes are turned on and off in ways that help prepare the body for assaults, but that also increases the stress and aging on the body as well.” This Epigenetic effect provides important clues in improving our understanding of the physical effects of loneliness, and in an increasingly remote and digitally connected world, minding our digital footprint and ensuring that we cultivate real and meaningful relationships with others may hold the key to keeping us healthy and keeping the onset of loneliness at bay.
The Digital Watercooler
Luxury 5 Star hotel. Spacious conference room. Picture postcard ocean view. Smart phone in hand. Email and PowerPoint notebook split screen shared. Skype group conference call active and live.
These are just a few of the most enduring symbols of today’s Digital Mobile Professional. No matter where they are in the world, high speed digital connections keep them going.
And just like all new cutting-edge technology that’s transforming the business world at lightning speed today, Digital Mobile Professionals are on the leading edge of 21st century business productivity—with all of the latest apps and high-tech tools to prove it.
But regretfully, not all professionals working remotely fit into these shoes.
Remote work might be the future, but for many--especially those who find themselves limited to working from home and armed for productivity with merely a laptop computer in a dusty armchair in the corner of their room—they are rapidly finding that the glamor and glory of remote work comes with its own set of challenges-- like the unstructured days, the mixing of work and personal life, and the ever-present big elephant in the room that people seem unwilling to talk about: the loneliness.
With the rise of the Internet and mobile technologies such as global broadband service, cloud based storage and powerful notebook computing, never before has the landscape of working professionals changed so radically. Globalization is continuing to drive the ever-expanding numbers of growth in a highly mobile business workforce--in all regions of the world and in all capacities--as international executives, creative and technical consultants, sales teams and countless other mobile remote professionals continue to expand, and mobility in the workplace continues to grow exponentially each year.
According to a new 2020 forecast from International Data Corporation (IDC), the world’s leading expert on business trends and analysis, the global mobile workforce is set to increase from 1.32 billion in 2017, representing about 35% of the total workforce globally, to 1.86 billion by 2020, and will soon account for nearly 45% of the total workforce worldwide.
In the US, mobile based professionals will increase from about 96 million to nearly 106 million, and by the end of the forecast period, IDC expects mobile professionals to account for nearly 75%--or three quarters--of the total U.S. workforce.
Research also shows, given today’s demographics, that by 2020, the overall business workforce will be compromised of five different generations for the first time ever in history—and by 2025 nearly 70% of the workforce will be Millennials—prime candidates for mobile remote working.
It’s no secret that Millennials love all things in the digital world--it’s one of their defining characteristics. They’ve come of age in a world filled with daily use of broadband, smartphones, smart-apps, streaming content, and social media. The age of instant information on the go is the norm for today’s Millennials, and their ease in this highly mobile digital domain is reflected in their life choices, both personally and professionally, actively embracing the mobile digital workplace.
According to the IDC, mobility has become synonymous with productivity for most businesses, both inside and outside the traditional workplace, and enterprises expect to continue the mass adoption of mobile technologies and to continue to grow their mobile teams in the years to come.
Many businesses see this as a win-win solution, as statistical analysis shows that remote professionals provide higher levels of productivity, while reducing expenses and overhead costs. With increased flexibility and efficiency for the business, remote professionals help businesses become more competitive and profitable in the long run. Most see the trend as the natural evolution of our professional workforce in a rapidly growing digital world.
However, mobile remote working is not just for those in the corporate world.
Statistics show that there are there are 53 million freelance professionals in America today, and by 2020 more than half of the U.S. workforce will be working freelance. The shift from full time employer/office based work to this highly on-demand remote form of work, is fueling a rapidly growing gig economy, pushing more and more independent professionals towards creating mobile and technology based workflows that create diverse networks of opportunities that they enjoy.
It can also be a big motivational boost.
For the freelancer, being a Digital Mobile Professional embodies the principles of embracing individuality. It offers unbridled freedom to choose their professional path, while exploring life and building global business and social experiences that working in a single traditional office environment would not. It’s liberating, progressive, and almost iconic as a symbol of where the future of business is headed. And the more diverse the skill set, the more opportunities seem to come their way.
So why is it then, with all of these perks, mobile productivity tools and tech--and the freedom that comes along with it—are many people who work remotely struggling with loneliness?
Psychologists who study the science of loneliness say we can look to the issue of “connection disconnection” once again. It’s about the lack of direct interpersonal contact with their colleagues and peers, and the inevitable isolation this often brings.
For instance, some mobile professionals spend more than eight hours a day sitting in a chair in a non-dedicated work area “somewhere” in their home, and may go the entire eight hours of their workflow emailing, texting, “chatting” and otherwise being extremely productive—but without ever uttering a single spoken word to another human being all day.
Gone are the days where jokes were made, lunch was shared and social gatherings planned as groups of workers hung out by the office watercooler. Psychologists say this type of peer interaction plays a significant role in the traditional social atmosphere at work. Those professionals who work remotely miss out on this type of socialization, and the isolation that results can easily spiral into loneliness, and that loneliness can easily spiral into being chronic--with profound impacts on their health and happiness—no matter how productive they are or how much they may enjoy their actual work.
Research also shows that those who work from home without the benefit of a well-designed, ergonomic and inspiring home office or studio may be at greatest risk, with a high instance of musculoskeletal problems, repetitive stress injuries, emotional isolation and even depression if positive action isn’t taken.
Working long hours in front of a computer, in a poorly designed area of your home is commonly associated with a static and constraining posture, repetitive movements, extreme positions of the forearm and wrist, and with long periods of continuous work, as studies show we often don’t take proper breaks when we work alone, something that we’re more likely to do in a more social office environment. This puts tremendous physical strain on the body and can lead to long term injuries from the constant unnatural physical pressures inflicted each day.
And it’s not just the physical stress on the body, but the emotional stress as well.
Hectic schedules and tight deadlines for many remote professionals can lead to intense and long working hours, alone of course, that cause an inability to switch off at the end of the day to take proper time to rest and relax. They lack the direct daily personal encouragement and support from their peers to pace themselves, break often, and balance their workday, something that comes much more naturally when working in a group setting or traditional office environment.
The good news is that solutions are well within reach, and as more and more of the global workforce goes mobile, a few positive shifts in the way that we work can do wonders to keep us healthy and feeling great.
For starters, for those professionals working from home who don’t have the benefit of working mobile from inspiring and creative locations, it’s especially important to create a well-designed work area. It doesn’t have to be a separate office or creative studio, but simply a dedicated area that’s separate from the everyday clutter and distraction of the home living space, and ideally one that offers some opportunity to step back from the world of digital cyberspace and periodically interact with the real world—even if it’s only an occasional visit from a singing Blue Jay or a visit from a neighbor’s cat.
Believe it or not, even if stuck working inside a small apartment or in an ultra-urban city, just breaking away from our computer screens and indoor spaces to get outside into nature--even for just a little bit each day--offers real positive and tangible benefits for our health.
A report in the medical journal Social Science & Medicine found that even something as simple as taking lunch outdoors each day near a fountain or stream in a city park had a strong beneficial effect on our overall health and emotional wellbeing. Those who work remotely should undoubtedly dedicate time for this each day, and even if we periodically skip the break outdoors, dedicating even a small about of time daily for Mindfulness and Meditation practice, and learning the latest Neuroplasticity visualization techniques can offset a ton of stress and keep us feeling our optimal best.
And don’t forget that inspiration board.
Not only can we keep positive and inspired by these types of visualization tools, but we can even surround our workspace with happy photos of outgoing social moments with friends and colleagues, or even a beautiful place in nature that we love, all of which will help us feel less alone and more connected.
Experts in Neuroplasticity-- the science that refers to the brain’s ability to change and create new neural pathways in light of experience--tell us that this change can occur not only by real-life experiences, but also by visualization and imagination as well.
Groundbreaking research confirms the power of imagination to literally light up our brains in exactly the same way as if we were actually doing— and daily practice can contribute significantly to optimizing the mind-set to help us avoid feeling alone.
Social Media’s Alone Together
Worldwide, there are over 2.01 billion active monthly users of social media, and of the 300 million of us in the United States, sometimes it feels like we’ve all just become new “Friends” on Facebook.
With so many of us being “Friends” and so well connected, you’d think that our social calendars would be totally full.
But the sad truth is that for all of the social media friends that we may have out in cyberspace, studies show that social media usage is actually making us less socially active in the real world, and Americans in particular are finding themselves lonelier than ever.
According to a recent study by sociologists at Duke University and the University of Arizona, published by American Sociological Review, American’s circle of close friends and confidants has shrunk dramatically over the past two decades, and the number who say they have no one outside of their immediate family to discuss important matters with has more than doubled, reaching a shocking 53.4%--up 17% since the dawn of the Internet and social media.
What’s more, nearly a quarter of those surveyed say they have no close friends or confidantes at all—a 14% percent increase since we all became so digitally connected.
Looking at the stats, we should ask ourselves, are digital communication technologies and social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter helping us or actually hurting us?
Many experts seem to feel the latter, and see a clear pattern with social media use and the decline in social intimacy, contributing greatly to today’s social and personal breakdown.
In her recent book Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other, MIT Professor Dr. Sherry Turkle, PhD argues the case that this just may be so.
Dr. Turkle puts forth a host of pretty convincing signs that technology is threatening to dominate our lives and make us less and less social as humans. In Alone Together, she warns us that in only just a few short years, technology has now become the architect of our intimacies. “Online, we fall prey to the illusion of companionship, gathering thousands of Twitter and Facebook friends, and confusing tweets and wall posts with authentic communication". But this relentless online digital connection is not at all real social intimacy, and leads us to a deep feeling of solitude.
Compounding matters is the added burden of increasingly busy schedules. People are now working very long hours—far more than in any recent history—and many feel that the only way that they can make social contact is online via social media or even online dating apps—which they often feel is faster and cheaper than actually going out for an intimate connection in person. Many even prefer the limited effort necessary to maintain digital friendships, verses live interpersonal relationships, which allows them to feel connected-- but actually still remain somewhat disconnected.
This is perhaps ever more apparent with a new generation of Americans who have grown up with smartphones and social media, and as a result, may have even lost some fundamental social skills due to excessive online and social media use.
Some call this generation “Generation Z”, the group that falls after Millennials in the current trio that makes up the Digital Generation, that began with GenXers, who were the first to transition from analog to digital. But iGen, is another name that’s rapidly taken hold to describe this new member of the group—aptly put since they’re the first of any generation to spend the entirety of socially formative adolescent years with a smartphone—with two out of three preferring to have the iPhone in their pockets.
Dr. Jean Twenge, PhD is a Professor of Psychology at San Diego State University and the author of more than 100 scientific journal articles and six books on generational differences in traits, attitudes and behaviors, including Generation Me and the best-seller, iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy--and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood--and What That Means for the Rest of Us.
In iGen, Dr. Twenge outlines how growing up with a smartphone—something we now all take having completely for granted-- has affected nearly every aspect of this unique generation’s lives.
Studies show that iGens spend so much time on their smartphones surfing the internet, texting friends and “digitally socializing” on social media--an average of about six hours per day – that they have practically no remaining free time for just about anything else. This includes what was once the most popular teenage favorite past time of all: hanging out with their friends.
This used to include the classics like, shopping at the mall, going to the movies, having sleep-overs, throwing parties or just cruising around, but today’s iGen teenagers are the first generation in more than 50 years to actually be doing a lot less of all of these things—if doing them at all.
And unlike GenXers or Millennials, they’re also the first generation in 50 years whose teenage years are marked by rising depression, anxiety, and loneliness-- with happiness declining.
In their 2000 book, Millennials Rising, Neil Howe and William Straus argued that the current generation of digitally connected kids born after 1982 would grow up to become America's next Greatest Generation—teens coming of age filled with a sense of global optimism and human potential— but according to Dr. Twenge, such predictions were at best wishful thinking.
“Not that they don’t have a lot going for them, they are for instance, by and large much more tolerant and culturally accepting than any earlier generation, but socially speaking, the smartphone threatens to derail them before they ever even get started.”
Dr. Turkle of MIT seems to agree, and sees the same “connection disconnection” issues affecting us all. She suggests that as technology ramps up, our emotional lives ramp down. Under the illusion of being better connected--with more people and on an even greater global scale—social media is actually isolating us from forming real human interactions, insulating us in a cyber-reality that at its core is a very poor imitation of the real world, and ultimately creates challenging, changing, and unsettling ripples throughout the real relationships in our lives.
And the startling thing about it, is that this is nearly the polar opposite of what we should expect. It seems that social media may not be so social after all, and it can’t be stressed enough that this is particularly true for young adults, because they are some of the technology’s most heavy users.
Dr, Brian Primack, PhD is the director of the Center for Research on Media, Technology and Health at the University of Pittsburgh, and co-author of a study published by the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, which shows that those who spend the most time digitally connecting on social media— more than two hours a day —had more than twice the odds of feeling socially isolated and lonely, compared to those who spend only a half hour per day. While real life face-to-face social connectedness seems to be strongly associated with feelings of well-being, the study shows that this naturally expected outcome seems to change when our interactions happen virtually. These results seemed very much to be counterintuitive—yet somehow this negative outcome is entirely consistent and true.
Dr. Primack’s earlier research on the connection of social media use and depression in young adults seemed to confirm what many already suspected, that our self-esteem can easily take a nosedive each time we login to a social media network. There is a natural tendency to compare our lives to those we see online, and when we see others seemingly living the life of our dreams, it’s human nature not to feel just a little bit envious. However, if left unchecked, that envy can quickly turn into low self-esteem—and that can quickly spiral into depression. And like a vicious cycle, the more depressed and the lower our self-esteem, the lonelier we feel.
Meanwhile, a recent study found that those who gave up Facebook for even just a week felt much happier, less lonely and less depressed at the end of the study then other participants who continued using it.
The message is clear, that it’s important to use social media in positive ways. Comparing our lives offline to the perfectly curated lives of others that we see online is at best problematic—and at worst a real danger to our emotional and physical health and welling. It’s a strong reminder of the importance of establishing real and meaningful interpersonal friendships, versus isolating ourselves in the digital social world. Real life interactions help us to build lasting relationships that fulfill our innate human need to form bonds and feel connected. No matter how numerous, social media relationships fall short.
The solution, experts say, is that we have to begin to recognize the inherent pitfalls of social media and begin to utilize our online time in more positive ways that enhance our relationships-- not detract from them. Social media can actually be a positive step toward building a “Global Village”, if we make it so.
It all depends on how we choose to interact online.
And more than anything, it’s important to remember to celebrate who we are and to see our true value and genuine self-worth, because regardless of our professional success, how much we may achieve, or what material possessions we may own, truth is that the most valuable things in life are the things that cannot be purchased.
Health, love, and happiness are precious and priceless gifts that truly define our wealth in life, yet this can be especially hard to remember in a society that tries its very hardest to teach us otherwise.
The value of material possessions is the easiest thing in the world to calculate—but it hardly reflects the true value of our lives. Each of us has the power to set our own standards of success in life—and to confidently, knowingly, and authentically live our own personal truth.
It’s important to remember this, in our ever-busy quest for success in our increasingly digitally connected lives.
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Marina Rose is an alternative health pioneer who employs cutting edge techniques that sit squarely at the intersection of the most leading edge scientific research and the ancient arts of traditional mind-body-energy medicine. She is the founder and developer of QDNA®, Quantum DNA Acceleration®, a revolutionary new technique for quantum growth in life and business. She offers seminars, programs, lectures, and private sessions in QDNA® that accelerate personal and professional transformation.
Marina has been an alternative healing arts and wellness facilitator for the past twenty-one years and holds certifications in more than twenty-four healing modalities. She is a highly respected facilitator, educator and lecturer in the field, with private practice based in Venice, California. Marina is the author of numerous articles on health and wellness, and is the author of The Magnificent Human Experience: Explorations In Consciousness and The Human Body, a weekly blog dedicated to far ranging topics that bridge the worlds science, health and spirituality.
Marina Rose has clients in 60 countries and all over the United States. She is based in Los Angeles, CA and lectures and practices QDNA® in locations worldwide.
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About | Marina Rose, QDNA®
Marina strongly believes that there is nothing that cannot be healed or transformed when the mind, body and emotions are in balance. From over two decades of professional experience, Marina has developed a broad range of instructional programs, seminars and a complete line of organic products to support health and healthy living.
Marina has also developed highly customized QDNA® Business Programs designed to assist in decoding, reconstructing, and recoding patterns of belief, to literally re-wire the brain for success, improving creativity, innovation, and productivity. These combined personal and professional QDNA® programs offer a unique opportunity to recondition the mind, body and spirit for far reaching and lasting results.
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